Number Eightttttt.

Me and Mr Charlie Crawford

I heart cake mix.

So I don't know why I didn't list this as number five, seen as no.8's task was to make a FIVE tiered cake.   With a little help from my good friend Mr Charlie Crawford, a trip to Tescos, a lot of chocolate, and best of all, LOADS of mess (I have to own up as the main culprit here, after all I did flick brownie all over Charlie), we did it!

"Baby steps" is a common phrase advised to all, and whilst baking a five tier cake wasn't a watershed moment, it was the first and, as Charlie pointed out, most cost efficient, step towards completing my list. And lets not forget, it was really fun!

The finished product

Admittedly it doesn't LOOK that amazing, but it sure as hell did taste good, we even switched it up a bit and alternated layers, one brownie, one sponge. Besides I'm not shallow, and if you are sitting their judging our rather interesting concoction then "shame on you! You'll be sorry when we enter into our own wedding cake company and earn a billion!"

My little cupcake top

Now, who wants cakeeeee?! Seriously though, I keep eating and more just appears.. its like its duplicating itself.

All my love.

Jess.

No.9

Hello all,

So now the bestfriend has left to go to University, and the other bestfriend has left to her own gap year in Australia, both of whom are the two people I care most about in the whole entire world, excluding family that is, (a massive down side to having a gap year is watching the people you care about leave your 'home town' and you behind) all that is left for me to do is to get cracking with the list.

I happened to stumble across this video and decided it is the perfect basis upon which I shall 'learn a dance' No.9.

Here you go, take a look for yourself. Inspiration for No.9; the dance.
So, when I'm done being sad (I always knew September was going to be a toughen) and I'm ready to be distracted, I'll get learning it in my spare time and upload a video of my own cheeky rendition.

All my love
- Jessica

Gap Life?

So the summer is over, and has been quickly replaced by September. A month I thought would be full of empty 'gaps' of time, pondering over what to do next! I was wrong. I can't remember the last time I was quite this busy. My life is a rush of trying to get everything done and said before each individual leaves for university or gap years as well as working, desperate to get as much money as possible to do the things I actually want to do. And here I was, believing that my rush hour ended after the crazy four day boozer surrounding my 18th birthday (including having to say goodbye to one of my closest friends). However two weeks later and here I am.

The next year scares me, because I simply don't know what to expect. I barely know what's happening tomorrow let alone next week, and for somebody who likes a sense of socialized order, its kinda driving me crazy!!

I had one of the best summers of my life, but I can't help but wonder if its meant to be a summer of closure, or the beginning of something better. The line between the two is thinner than I expected.

Being an adult means that regardless of what happens to me, of who leaves and enters my life, and what experience's I may or may not be blessed with, I have to deal with it maturely. I have to breathe, take a step back and gather some perspective. Because gap years and university's and goodbyes, they aren't forever, they're just for now. So for now, being brave takes on a new meaning; it means trusting the direction your life is going in even when it feels like its not heading anywhere at all.

Trust God. He has this crazy plan, right? At least I believe that's true, because I sure as hell ain't working in a cafe claiming that I'm on my "gap life" forever. I think it's time to once again consult the list...

Mistakes

I think its fair to say that no body is perfect however the hardest imperfection to deal with is our own. It is easier to neglect those that are honest with you. True honesty is hard. The truth is you will never want to hear what a friend has to tell you, and we can find ourselves "shooting the messenger" per say. When in fact we should be grateful that a friend is brave enough and loyal enough to tell us the truth, not only about others but about ourselves.

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. - Mathew 7:5 

Its not easy to admit our own faults. Its even harder to try and change them. We would far rather run away from the honesty of our friends than face it directly, because if we stay we must suffer the consequences of consistent reminders of guilt. The understanding of hope, that is found in forgiveness is essential to a journey of change. The hardest step in changing, is forgiving yourself.

But your mistakes do not define you, nor should your past!


So it is time to wave the white flag, admit your part and say that with sincerity, you're sorry. Only then can you start the somewhat difficult journey of change, because I am a firm believer that: 

It is never too late, to be better. 


Those that know everything about us and still choose to love us, are precious and should be gratefully treasured for a life time.

THE LIST

I had some of my best years at my secondary school in outer London. I went to places: Italy, Normandy, France. I was singled out and rewarded with certificates and letters home. I achieved good grades, in the most part but I also learnt how to fail. I was blessed with humility and teamwork. I was thrown into situations I'd rather not have been in and come out the other side a little bit stronger. Being forced to study Germ Theory, Pythagoras Theorem, Sonnets, Bar Charts, Velocity, "je m'apelle" and so forth was ironic; after finishing my fourteen years of formal education I've realised that wasn't what I learnt at all. 

The things that I really learnt from my life at school are the things I will be able to apply to the "big bad world". I learnt to laugh not only at situations but at myself, to respect other people's views and faiths, to trust, consequences, to challenge myself to the absolute limits and never give up, best of all I finally learnt what all those cliché's meant! 

And now I've finished and what better way to finish school that a whole years holiday. 

I don't know where I will be in a year's time and after that seems even more blank. In fact, for me, doomsday falls on the day I get my results; August 16th, the day before my birthday - I find out my results and then suddenly I'm an adult and that's it, bam, kapush, boom, end of school, hello "big bad world". Am I ready? Hell no! But that just makes it all that more incredible. Because once upon a time I went into secondary school vulnerable, naive, ignorant and with the sense that I could mould the next seven years however I wished. Now, I feel like I've got that opportunity all over again! I don't know who I want to be, or how I want to mark the world, I just know that here is where I begin. 

I am starting here. Writing this blog. Knowing that they're a thousand different paths, possibilities and opportunities that may come my way. So I begin my quest for the rest of my life, today. With none other than a list. 

I love lists. - although I never did watch the bucket list (note to self: watch the bucket list). 

So here it goes: A BILLION THINGS TO DO IN MY GAP YEAR. - This isn't a gap between school and the rest of my life, this is a stepping stone. Plus screw it, I'm young, wild and freeeee so why not? 

1. Dye my hair a crazy colour 
2. Write a short children's story 
3. Climb a mountain 
4. Go skinny dipping 
5. Karoake in a bar
6. Cliff diving or something similar 
7. Learn to play a song on guitar 
8. Make a 5 tier cake ✓
9. Learn a dance routine 
10. Pass my driving test 
11. Save turtles in Costa Rica 
12. Sleep under the stars 
13. Fly
14. White water rafting 
15. Surfing 
16. Quad biking 
17. Acupuncture 
18. Be able to recite a monologue (Possibly audition with said monologue)  
19. Go to Paris
20. Give Blood
21. Learn to knit